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Decisions, wishes, decisions...
On Friday our vacation ends T_T Tomorrow we'll be busy. I'm both glad that we return home, but I'm also sad, because my sister and I must look after grandma again. Makes me wanna go look for job, but it won't be fair for my sister to look after grandma alone. At least, now mom knows how hard it is, but I doubt nothing would change. -_- One of the reason I wish to get job, is also because that I get more money for next vacation. But once again, it wouldn't be fair to my sister.... awww if only I find part-time job, but I doubt that's possible. Is it wrong to wish things? I have to admit, in my own life I starting feel those wishes won't never come true :( I mean, they seem like that. There are many things I wish to do or have. For example: I wish to go Disneyland and my characters. I to become writer or work to design new animation series/movies I better stop before I get more depressed. And I'm already depressed by medical results we got today. Very depressing... I don't want
Aunt comes!
Our aunt is coming this Sunday. We have waited this over year. Our aunt (from mom's side) has never traveled this far and we thought she deserves little vacation after taking care Uma (that's how we called mom's mom, who passed away) and then looking after grandpa. We first planned that she comes May 2020, but then COVID came, so it got delayed. We tried look if we could move it and now we discovered she comes Sunday and leaves on September. I tell this because we will be busy to show her different places(safely)of Finland so, there won't be much replies or comments from me during that time.
Depressed once again
Although I spoke with my father about this, but I feel down. I think it's because I have two different reasons why I feel depressed. First one, was which I already spoke with father, about my weight issues, I have noticed certain diets don't work on me. I have noticed that stress and depression make me gain weight more. And today my sister said I'm motivated enough, well... I think she is partly right. So, my second reason for depression must be the reason. What it is? I'm not sure. Is it the same as usual to want get something which is impossible to get, because it's in Japan and I'm in Finland? Or is it that no one seem to notice my recent works? I think it's both. So, it seems I have three reasons on depression
Feeling down again
I know I have have these moments before, but they just seem to come over and over again. sometimes is because the sad news around the world or depression. I'm pretty sure, it's depression again. Why? Have you ever had the time, when you wish something, but it requires money and don't have it or you can't have it because it's only in certain country and you can't go there to get it. Or worse case it's sold out already. Well, I have that. And it bugs me a lot.
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